helpless me

About 2 months ago,my mum was diagnosed with cancer of the stomach..she underwent her surgery and after that she can barely eat..the best she can do was only to drink fruit juices..later on,she starts adjusting her stomach with soft food and then time after time she can start taking rice once more bit by bit..slowly she was able to eat normally but only in a much more smaller amount than normal human..Now,2 months later she has undergo chemo..As we alll know,chemo seems to be scary to a cancer patient and I can see why now..My mum went for her first cycle of chemo a week ago which only consist of injections for a week..She seem alrite to me then..But today when I came home from college,I was so suprised to see the look on her face..she was so pale adhsive though she was back to square one(I mean after the surgery)..then when I had my lunch,she sat down beside me and told me that she hasn't been eating much since wednesday..basically I can say that she din even eat 1/4 out of 3 meals a day..It was all because of the injection she took on wednesday which contains God knows what kind of drugs that cause her mouth to hurt so badly till she can't eat..gawd!I don't think I can bare looking at her like that..cried a few times today when I saw her suffering..*sob*..this is only the 1st cycle..I dunno how am I gonna bare the upcoming cycles of her chemo..Futhermore my grandmother will be leaving for Ipoh tomorrow..my mum will be left alone with my little brother next week..I am so worried that my bro won't be able to help my mum out with her condition now..HAIH..I feel very helpless too coz there is nothing I can do to prevent her from suffering all this pain..I am so angry of myself..ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

helpless signing off.............