still helpless..

Now I am back in KL and I am really worried bout my mom..dunno whether is she fine or not..think I shall call her later..last weekend staying at home was really tiring..had do all sorts of things besides taking care of my mum..had to clean up the house,do the cooking,cope up with homework n etc etc...on Saturday nite,while I was watching tv, my dad heard some sound from the toilet n my mum was in it..so I ran straight to the toilet n there was my mum crying n crying because her stomach hurts a lot...this few days at home I realised that my mum did get a lil better but she has to eat very often and after eating,her stomach will be very painful..I also realised that every single afternoon her stomach hurts the most..I have to rub her back so that all the "wind" in her body would be released...looking at it n recalling all this makes my heart sore..nobody at home can bare looking at my mum's condition now,not even my grandma..

how long will I be able to hold on?
how strong can I be?
I am afraid that 1 day I'll just break down and cry my heart out..
staying strong isn't as easy as it is being said..

people always say that u should believe in God and everything will be fine,is that true?
I doubt that..if it is true,then all this shouldn't have happen to my mum right?

she was such a nice person,lending a hand whenever anybody needs help from her..
she even help those who had criticise her and treat her badly previously..
she doesn't complain about her life and just go with the flow..
she was a great mum,wife,daughter,daughter-in-law,sister and friend but..
why?WHY?