new love

马嘉轩 - i'm okay

天终於亮了吧 背对背的沙发
时针分针和秒针都不说话
我们选择沉默 泪在胃里酸化
还有伤悲但不挣扎
哦 昨夜雨很大 我们没吵架
哦 沉默如刀狠狠划下

就算了吧 就算我先说 不爱啦
就算了吧 你要我先说 放弃吧
泪挺我 不掉落
退到自己最陌生的角落
剩下一丝逞强在假洒脱
现在我 有什么 不Okay

天早就亮了吧 寂寞的双人桌
时针分针秒针还是不说话
自己选择沉默 就当我是哑巴
怕一开口伤太赤裸
哦 昨夜雨没下 我们没吵架
哦 只是伤口还没结痂

就算了吧 就算我先说 不爱啦
就算了吧 你要我先说 放弃吧
泪挺我 不掉落
退到自己最陌生的角落
剩下一丝逞强在假洒脱
现在我 有什么 不Okay

我和你 的爱情 连续剧 的结局
那甜蜜 总属於 男主角的你
我终於 也认清 原来你 早写好了续集

还是你 的 爱情 我已经 没参与
那甜蜜 总属於 男主角的你
她靠近 我离去 随便你 随便你

算了吧 就算我先说 不爱啦
就算了吧 你要我先说 放弃吧
泪掉落 不难过
退到你拥抱围成的角落
你走後是一片天空海阔
现在我 没什么 I m Okay
I m Okay

我们之间

可惜你在改变，可惜我在改变，听不见也看不见。
我们之间，一条线，就能分两个世界。

tears

The picture explains it all.
"Tears are the rinse water of an unhappy heart".
Indeed.

The last 2 weeks of my life wasn't as smooth running as it should be.
Plans were made and carried out, however the outcome didn't seem right.
To a certain extent that tears start filling up my dry eyes and it wouldn't stop.
Despite the tears, waking up in the morning with mixed feelings isn't pleasant at all.
Probably the pressure was too much to take.

I would say that I've always tried to put up a strong front with presence of others.
And I was described as someone who only cries when necessary.
Nonetheless, everything has changed recently.
It feels like whether you are tearing alone or in front of other, it's a sense of comfort.
It feels like tears washes off what has been obstructing you from a clearer and better view of everything.
Hence, at times a few drops of tears and a shoulder to lean on is necessary.

Upon submitting my assignment yesterday, I feel this sense of emptiness in me.
The heavy burden that I have been carrying for the past 2 weeks was no longer there anymore.
I could not describe that sense of relieve neither can I describe what I feel.
It's just amazing how I can just sit and observe the others at the train station and my mind was totally blank.
It's just hard to explain but it feels GREAT.

Central India?

Bumped into a past life analysis on a friend's blog.
Interesting.

Your past life diagnosis:

---

I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Central India around the year 1325. Your profession was that of a leader, major or captain.

---

Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Timid, constrained, quiet person. You had creative talents, which waited until this life to be liberated. Sometimes your environment considered you strange.

---

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your main task is to make the world more beautiful. Physical and spiritual deserts are just waiting for your touch. Keep smiling!

---

Do you remember now?


Interested to know yours? Click here

Labour day!

Although labour's day is way past behind time,
I still wanna wish everyone "Happy Labour Day!".

It's Labour Day where everyone is supposed to take a day off,
but I felt like I was more of a labourer on Labour's day.
So tired.
Mentally tired.
I should head for my dreamland.

Zzzzz..........

sunny day

Today is a sunny day.
The day started off well.
Everything will turn out just right.
=)

bliss

Let's wish this happily married royal couple all the bliss in the world.
Let's just hope their marriage last like their royal grandparents'.

Random thought of my day:
When you have the motivation running, don't let it go wasted.

soulmates?

I doubt they are my soulmates or even my friends.
I can't even stay still for an hour to read them.
Psychology report is such a killer.

Sorry if I rant too much.

I'm fine

Photo credits to devian art

Trust me when I say this.
Even if I'm not, trust me that it's something else which bothers me.

postcards from April

Most of these postcards comes unexpectedly.
And most of the time, it is on the days when I am feeling blue.
They cheer me up, everytime, without fail.
I would say: APRIL LIM! you can read minds!!

It has been almost a year since she has left for Glasgow.
We can't put into words how much we miss her.
And so, this will be dedicated to her.

Every gathering, these words seems to pop up, "If only April is here with us".
If only.

林俊杰 - 会有那么一天

一九四三　世界大戰　
(It's) 1943, (during) the second world war
阿嬤年輕的時候
A time when grandma was young
爺爺愛他那麼多
Grandpa loved her so much　
他們感情很深
Their love was so deep
但是爺爺　身負重任
But grandpa held a heavy burden　
就在離鄉的那夜
On the night he left his village
給了阿嬤一個吻
He gave grandma a kiss　
輕聲說道
And softly said

我要離去　別再哭泣
I need to leave, please stop crying　
不要傷心　請你相信我
Don't be hurt, have faith in me
要等待　我的愛
And wait for my love　
陪你永不離開
To be with you and never part
因為會有那麼一天
Because that day will come　
我們牽著手在草原
With us holding hands in the garden
聽鳥兒歌唱的聲音
Listening to the birds singing
聽我說聲　我愛你
Listen to me saying I love you
 

夕陽西下　鳥兒回家　
The sun has set, and the birds have returned home
阿嬤躺在病床上
Grandma laying on her sick bed
呼吸有一點散漫
Breathing slowly　
眼神卻很溫柔
Yet with her gentle eyes
看著爺爺　濕透的眼
Looking at grandpa's teary eyes
握著他粗糙的手
Holding his rough hands
阿嬤淚水開始流
Grandma's tears starts rolling down　
輕聲說道
Softly saying

我要離去　別再哭泣
I need to leave, please stop crying　
不要傷心　請你相信我
Don't be hurt, have faith in me
要等待　我的愛
And wait for my love　
陪你永不離開
To be with you and never part
因為會有那麼一天
Because that day will come　
我們牽著手在草原
With us holding hands in the garden
聽鳥兒歌唱的聲音
Listening to the birds singing　
聽我說聲　我愛你
Listening to me say I love you

我要離去　別再哭泣
I need to leave, please stop crying　
不要傷心　請你相信我
Don't be hurt, have faith in me
要等待　我的愛
And wait for my love　
陪你永不離開
To be with you and never part
因為會有那麼一天
Because that day will come　　
我們牽著手在草原
With us holding hands in the garden
聽鳥兒歌唱的聲音
Listening to the birds singing　
聽我說聲　我愛你
Listen to me saying I love you 

我愛你 
I love you. 

I used to remember how this song makes me cry
everytime I played the CD.
Brings back memories. 

5/7/10

Today is one memorable day 
Not because it was a lucky day neither was it a wonderful day
Somehow it feels like I am sharing another's bad luck 


With the intention to make a trip to uni to collect my assignment and enroll for my compulsory subject
I took the train to subang then waited for the bus to sunway
After 45 mins, I am still stuck at the bus stop
Hence, I called a friend to see whether she could pick me up 
She said okay but I would need to wait for another 45 mins
So I waited for her and as I was waiting, there is a black guy sitting next to me
Initially, he was just sitting silently beside
All of a sudden he tapped on my shoulder and started talking to me
And he couldn't stop talking for the next 30 mins
He started talking about crappy stuff on love, his life in UK and how he is a footballer in some club
Also about how he could keep in touch with me (I'm like WTF?!)
I freaked out and thought of excusing myself perhaps to the shopping complex nearby
But I feared that he would follow hence I remained there
Keeping my fingers crossed that my friend would reach in no time
Finally when my friend was there to pick up, I quickly got up and walked away from him
Freaky!


Then we both proceed to Sunway college coz my friend had to meet someone there
We manage to get ourselves a parking in the college compound
Upon leaving, we paid the parking ticket
As we approach the machine, we realized we lost the ticket 
We failed to search for the ticket even though we went back trailing the road
So we had to pay the penalty for losing the ticket which cost us 20 bucks


After all that, in the same car park we met with an accident
We banged into another car and my friend have to fork out another amount of money to pay her
Then my friend was too afraid to drive anymore that I took over 
Driving to meet up with Nadia and then back to Monash and lastly back to the KTM station


Despite all that unfortunate events, meeting Nadia for the last time before she leaves do make us less unlucky that day
It was perhaps the "luckiest" thing that has happened to us


Neways, I will not know when will I ever meet Nadia again
Therefore, take care of yourself no matter which part of the world are you in
whether is it South Africa, US or Korea
I wish you all the best in your future undertakings!
Hopefully that bottle of stars would bring you all the luck you need
And please do remember us!!
Never forget us, you fickle minded, bubbly, unpredictable and loud Korean!

Litlle sense of happiness

I guess my emotions do fluctuate

Or perhaps they are just mood swings

At times, small gestures and unexpected people brightens up your day

Things seem to be filled with laughter for no apparent reason
Suddenly, a feeling of putting yourself back together emerges
Attempting to make everything work once more
Though the passion may not be as much as before
That little sense of happiness makes up to it.

Sick

When you thought you had everything under control

When you put so much effort in making it a success

When you get yourself all excited about it

When you were not being selfish at all

When you put others into your consideration

And SNAP!

Reality hits you with an ugly truth

Things will not always work out the way you had it

People might ignore you on the way

People might not appreciate what you have done

Even when you are not asking for much

You had other's intention with you

But somehow others might neglect yours

Trying as hard as you could does not mean it's always good enough

It will never be good enough for people to realize just how much you like for it to pay off

Never and never will be good enough

At times, too much of anxiety brings me to the verge of giving up

Giving up and probably let it happen eventually

Then, perhaps the impact or downfall would not be that awful

Which makes me feel better at the least

But, too bad my anxiety was at the highest level of all

Hence, I'll have to bare with that awful feeling

I starting to get sick of it..

counting down

It has been 2 weeks since my exam started

sadly, things don't look too good this time

probably I've been slacking too much lately

the motivation to study seems so far fetched 

bearing in mind that there is still time left

taking it for granted as always

disappointing myself at moments of determination

with the last subject examinable for this semester

hopes are shattered even before sitting for the paper

for the fact that this paper would be a paper that I will merely pass

with emotions like anxiety, fear and inadequacy running through the cells in my body

a short break ahead of the examination does soothe the emotional conflict within

as I am counting down to the day that I can,

SAY GOODBYE TO THE TREMENDOUSLY HORRIBLE WEEKS OF EXAMINATION! >.<

freedom here I come!

don't let this be the last of the tigers

To post this up on my blog would be slightly backdated but who cares as long as it creates awareness.
A campaign to save the tigers incorporates 1 well established ad agency and the WWF.
As we know, tiger is an endangered species.
Numbers are reducing annually and if we do not do our part in protecting them,
Someday our grandchildren will turn to us and pop the question: "What is a tiger?"

Previously with one of the tiger abusing video(A Famosa Resort) posted up on Facebook,
I am sure many of you have seen what we as human beings are doing to them.
Some of you might doubt that it's true but that is actually what's happening to these poor animals.
We don't have to look at any other countries, Malaysia bares it all.
And if this is happening here, could you imagine what other countries could do them as well.
Hereby, I would like to ask people who read my blog (though not many) to pledge at the following website:
www.tx2.my
Help make a pledge and save the tigers.
Every pledge enhances the chance of survival for these striped animals.
I believe that one could make a difference.

rainbow

i saw a rainbow today.
it made my day.
it carved a smile on my face.
i wanted to shout it out but when i turn to my left and right,
the expression on their faces were sour.
hence i kept it to myself.

seeing 2 rainbows in 2 months in 2 different countries,
is something spectacular indeed.

i believe things are changing for the better.

farewell

farewell has been hard for me most of the time

but it gets even harder when it involves a close kin like my lil' brother

tears were rolling down my cheecks

as much as I would like to hide these emotions

saying goodbye is much harder than it seems to be 

although it's only for 3 months

no more whining companion

nobody to update me with the latest english songs

nobody to share the household chores with

no more evening badminton games

no more voices that goes "baby,baby nooo" (Justin Bieber's Baby)

no more screams from mum going "branon, do this, do that...!"

.........

....................

.................................

and the list goes on...

all these will be gone for 3 months

I am gonna miss them so much.

Sometimes we are so used to their existence that we take them for granted.

CNY

I've have been celebrating CNY for 22 yrs now

Truthfully, I've never understand the true meaning behind CNY until recently

I am sure to every Chinese celebrating CNY would know that it's a simple celebration with closely related family members and a reunion where everyone meets everyone annually without fail

For 21 yrs, CNY has been just an ordinary yearly routine 

Basically we do the same thing every year

An ordinary reunion dinner at my grnadma's place, followed by stacks of DVDs for the rest of the days (violent movies most of the time) and of course not forgetting CNY visiting as well as red packets

Everything was the same every year until each and everyone of us could predict what we are gonna do for the following years and soon we got bored of it

Hence, CNY no longer possess any significance to our family

The spirit of CNY died off as years pasess by

Until recently, I truly understand what is CNY all about

It's such a simple term, FAMILY..

Being able to gather together and meet all ur close relatives is best thing u could ever wish for be it a reunion dinner in a fine dining restaurant or in that old house of ur grandparents'

Being able to catch up with them is a blessing telling me that I should be grateful

Playing a simple game like 'chor tai ti' and blackjack minus the gambling with a big bunch of cousins would make such a blissful memory

Watching violent movies on every CNY eve, a trademark of our family shall it be

Grandparents', Aunties, Uncles, Mommies and Daddies distributing ang pows is a great delight to all of us by the end of the day

Loud laughs and voices of everyone in the house providing enough joy to share over the festive season

Lastly, lousang, big prawns, roasted duck and chicken, cans of shandy, packets of kuacis and groundnuts, a basket of mandarin oranges, containers filled with cookies are the favourites of our family

That was CNY to me, what about yours?

I've seen all this coming to me this few days

At some point, I felt that everything makes sense after all

And I did not understand it until I am 22

I should be ashamed of myself, shouldn't I?

emo

潘伟柏 - 左右

the current songs looping on my player makes me emo

it gets even worse after replying to april's mail

it has been more than 2 months since she we last saw her

no idea when we will see her again

but I am keeping my fingers crossed that it would be really soon

we barely talk to her in this 2 long months

and she seems to be really busy

though we miss her so much, we were also glad that her dreams came true

her dream to study in UK once seems far fetched

due to some personal problems

but now that she's there, we are glad that she's doing fine

despite the fact that she had a hard time adapting

we were sure she would pull through

anyways, I know she won't be reading this

it's just a sign of how much the rest of the cartoonz in M'sia miss her

the 24-7 cartoonz here will always love u APRIL LIM!!!

Tohoshinki - Hug 

p/s:been having weird dreams lately..was often dragged out of my comfy sleep because of these dreams..so pls pls do leave me weird dreams..